TMS Trials

  Daily Sub-Dissociative Low-Dose Oral Dissolving Ketamine Form: Lozenge Minimum Dose: 20mg Maximum Dose: 120mg I was on this starting in 2021 and my last time doing Ketamine this way was December of 2024. It was the closest to taking a daily antidepressant out of the 3 ways I have tried it. I did not feel any active 'trip' phase or experience any dissociative effects. Overall, it gave me steady symptomatic relief, less emotional numbness, improved insomnia, better stress tolerance, lower anxiety and rumination. It is always more effective when paired with individual therapy, and regular self driven coping skill practice/self regulation. Weekly/Bi-Weekly Guided Psychedelic/Dissociative Experience Form: Oral Disintegrating Tablet Minimum Dose: 200mg Maximum Dose: 800mg Duration: Active effects for 2 to 4 hours (followed by a 7 day period of increased neuroplasticity) This has been my main treatment since January 2025 and it was life changing, and gave me high symptomatic relief ...

Day 25 Today I was struggling to eat before treatment. My tech had been speaking with others and doing research to make sure it would be safe for me to skip eating or eat less before treatment. It was comforting to know I didn't have to force myself to eat.  Day 26 Today treatment went very smoothly today. We have a nice routine going. I usually come early, heat up my pop tart and eat it while we go through daily questions, then get in the chair and adjust myself. After that we put my favorite show on the TV and do high frequency [20 minutes] and low frequency [8 minutes] of treatment. Before we start there is always a test pulse which calibrates the machine.  Day 27 I did a MT check today, which is usual. They happen about once a week and there are fast or long ones on the neurostar machine. When it comes to the motor threshold you do have to report your daily meds & any med changes. However, only a small group of meds change your MT.  ...

Day 20 Today I got up to 110% which was really good, and my hand movements were almost nonexistent! We started on a slightly lower power setting and slowly worked up to 120% power, which is where I was the week before last. I was talking to my TMS tech about training and found out some pretty cool things! We filled up more PHQ 9 & GAD 7 forms today to track my depression and anxiety and its definitely getting better. My depression went from 24 [severe] to 18 [moderately severe] to 13 [moderate] in 20 days. My anxiety went from 20 [severe] to 10 [moderate] to 12 [moderate] in 20 days!  If you're worried about safety when it comes to TMS, this may comfort you: TMS technicians [who see with patients during every treatment] must be certified in CPR and basic life support. They know what to do in case of a seizure, they can operate a defibrillator, give CPR, and deal with other life threatening emergencies and serious side effects of TMS. Also my tech told me if you are nervous abou...

Monday I was very sick over the weekend, and contacted the TMS center to see if I should come in. Having a cold or flu shouldn't impact treatment, but to make sure I don't spread it they asked me not to come in. Day 16 I have been on full power for a while, but today I was having a lot of hand movements on our normal power setting. I thought it was from the break, but this didn't happen before and the issues continued during the week so we think it may be due to increased inflammation from my health conditions and/or temporary illness. My tech was great and very patient. We tried lowering the power multiple times, then did an MT check, and contacted my provider to see what's the appropriate power. We ended up lowering our power from 120% to 70% just so I could do treatment and it was much better. Day 17 Today I continued to have hand movements, but I did not feel as sensitive to the train as I did yesterday. We slowly raised my power and carefully watched fo...

Day Seven The power of the train/pulse has to be at 120% by the 2nd week to make the treatment as effective as possible; if you don't make it that's okay. Your goal will continue to be to raise power until you reach 120%. If its not at 120% [in two weeks] that isn't automatically bad it just means TMS is not as effective as fast as if you were at full power. My appointment went very smooth, we started at a lower power [110] than I finished at yesterday, then transitioned to 115% a little later. We tried full power [120] but it was slightly too strong for me so I decided to stay at 115 for today. I had no issues with hand movements. Me and the TMS tech chatted during the treatment and finished a show I was watching. After 20 minutes we transitioned to low frequency cycle and I recorded it. After that I answered the daily questions because we forgot in the beginning. The only things that impact treatment are: sleep quality and amount, meds/medication changes, drinking alcohol...

Day One I drank coffee and saw a sign saying I'm not supposed to! Its decaf only before treatment. Later I learned as long as I regularly drink coffee in the morning, its okay to drink caffeine before treatment. I came in and signed forms and then the technician reviewed them and set up the machine. I went in, we discussed my paperwork and started cortical mapping. They will ask questions about your daily routine every day. Poor sleep can cancel treatment because it lowers motor threshold. You can cancel for medical stuff or emergencies but shouldn't stop TMS for a week or days at a time. The longer you go without treatment the less effective it will be. You can do it with a neck brace, which I have, that's no issue. We adjust stuff with the chair then doc comes in to do brain mapping. There are different machines [neurostar and brainsway] they will make a slight difference. You will usually do a test "train" after they set the angle and strength and you will tell...

Trigger warning: self harm, suicidal thoughts [not graphic] In 2022 my depression came back quick, and in full force. I didn't just have a full depressive episode, I had it with all my old self harming and suicidal thoughts. I'm already in therapy, and the meds don't work. It took months just to get a sleep med that helped my insomnia so I didn't plan to treat this with medication. I knew that for some people TMS only lasts around a year [could be more as well] so I decided to see if I could get TMS again. I contacted a TMS provider, filled out the forms, and we had a telehealth call to discuss them. After that they called to let me know I was approved on their end for TMS so they would send everything to insurance. Soon after that I was told insurance approved me and was fully covering it.  We set a date, and I came in for my first treatment last Friday after waiting two weeks. I decided to document this journey with TMS to show people what it is, since its relatively ...

For my first full round of TMS therapy, I was approved for 32 days of TMS for anxiety [which also helps depression] and I noticed small mood changes my the end of the 7th treatment. Things like having less anxiety and racing thoughts, laughing more, slightly better sleep, less fatigue, and more motivation. By the end of the 14th day I noticed some moderate mood changes, like reaching less to hypotheticals I would normally have anxiety about, and things happening in my real life making me happy. It was also easier to cope with mood swings and difficult days. By my 21st day, I noticed a much bigger difference in my quality of sleep as well as in my mood. I had a clarity of mind I had never experienced, and everything felt light and calm, for once. Every day after that- my mood got significantly better once I finished each treatment. I would notice that it was like watching storm clouds clear away and seeing a sunny blue sky after a long storm. I had more plans for my future, everybody ar...

Trigger Warnings: self harm, suicide, hospitalization, inpatient programs  I have had chronic, treatment resistant Depression and Anxiety, for as long as I can remember. I have also had PTSD and Insomnia since middle school. This combination of mental health issues has mad it very difficult to function and I have struggled with self harm and suicidal ideation from the age of 12, maybe 10. I have had multiple suicide attempts from middle school to high school and college. When I was in college, I started getting therapy and trying medications. I went on medical leave due to depression in 2017 and did my first inpatient program, a PHP, in 2017 or early 2018 and while it helped me learn a lot I ended up continuing to struggle with mental health for the next few years. As I struggled to find the right meds, and became very familiar with common therapy skills, I went on another medical leave in 2019 and entered my second PHP after a lot of personal life changes that triggered a huge rel...