Depression Relapse and TMS Again

Trigger warning: self harm, suicidal thoughts [not graphic]

In 2022 my depression came back quick, and in full force. I didn't just have a full depressive episode, I had it with all my old self harming and suicidal thoughts. I'm already in therapy, and the meds don't work. It took months just to get a sleep med that helped my insomnia so I didn't plan to treat this with medication. I knew that for some people TMS only lasts around a year [could be more as well] so I decided to see if I could get TMS again. I contacted a TMS provider, filled out the forms, and we had a telehealth call to discuss them. After that they called to let me know I was approved on their end for TMS so they would send everything to insurance. Soon after that I was told insurance approved me and was fully covering it.

We set a date, and I came in for my first treatment last Friday after waiting two weeks. I decided to document this journey with TMS to show people what it is, since its relatively unheard of. On my first day I came in and we did cortical mapping and a MT [motor threshold] check. This helps the doctor and TMS technician decide where, and at what power, to put the coil [magnet]. The doctor has to find the motor cortex which makes your hand move [but it doesn't hurt] then they move over a set amount to find the area of the brain they want to stimulate or calm down. This process is slightly different depending on the machine you have and which treatment you are getting.

After that is all set up, we then d a test train [set of pulses] and if it feels good, we start my 18 minutes of TMS. During the treatment you need to try and be still so I like to bring a fidget toy. The TMS provider I went to both times has a TV so I watch Netflix during treatment but you can also be on your phone. They usually offer earplugs if you are sensitive to sound. The only things you should watch out for is if your hand moves and if the train hurts. If it hurts, the power is probably too high. If your hand moves, the coil is in the wrong location and they should stop and adjust. Let your tech know if your hand twitches during the pulse when you are doing treatment. It isn't a bad or dangerous thing, it just means they can make TMS more effective and comfortable for you.

I will be documenting each day of TMS I do on this blog. I have photos and videos I will share and discuss and well as information on TMS. This time while I'm in TMS again I asked about what I would do if I need it a third time. I was told I would just contact them and apply like usual, and as long as I get remission from TMS I'll be able to do another round in the future. What is Treatment resistant depression

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TMS Trials

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